April 23rd, 2010
Issues related to separation and divorce are often highly emotional. Sometimes people feel that the only way to get what they want is by beginning a court action. However, going to court is not always the best alternative for people trying to resolve family matters.
It is your responsibility to research the various options, including mediation, arbitration and collaborative law, that are available to families experiencing conflict.
Do your homework to find the process that best fits your family’s situation.
Tags: alternatives, best interest of children, family court, family law information centre, information, mediation, parent information session
Posted in For the Kids' Sake, Mediation Matters, Proceeding Wisely, The Family Court | No Comments »
October 7th, 2009
It is a rare situation that all the matters in a family law case are settled to the satisfaction of both parties never to be revisited. Over time, the needs and circumstances of the family members change which may mean that arrangements may need to be adjusted.
It is for that reason that paperwork relating to your family law case are kept together and in a place that you can easily access. While your file is available at the courthouse where your case was filed, there is a charge per page to have the file’s contents photocopied. In addition, if sufficient time has passed, your file may have to be retrieved from storage.
Even when things are going well, you may find that you need to refer to your paperwork from time to time.
Knowing where these important documents are located will save you time, money and frustration.
Tags: advice, family court forms, information
Posted in Proceeding Wisely, This & That | No Comments »
July 27th, 2009
Although 6 weeks of summer holidays are left before the children go back to school, separated parents might like to take a few moments now to consider whether the parenting schedule that has been in place should be revised for the upcoming school year.
If you think that some changes are in the best interest of the children, and it is reasonable, speak to the other parent or try mediation before calling your lawyer or rushing off to court to file court forms.
By taking these steps, you will most likely be able to make the changes prior to the beginning of the school year, thus creating consistency for your children.
Tags: best interest of children, decisions, mediation, parenting plan
Posted in For the Kids' Sake, Mediation Matters, Proceeding Wisely | No Comments »
June 29th, 2009
Although I have never seen an episode of “Jon and Kate Plus 8″, coverage of their marital woes has been everywhere. Now that Jon and Kate have filed for divorce, I believe that it is time to stop filming, perhaps forever, their TV program and focus on what is in the best interest of their children.
Children have more than enough to cope with when their parents separate, but trying to deal with all their emotions, concerns and questions while being followed around by cameras is not going to make the transition easy.
In addition, it is my understanding that Jon and Kate are separately interviewed on camera and it seems unlikely that their feelings about each other and their situation will not be mentioned. Even if Jon and Kate are able to accomplish what most separated parents cannot, that is not to bad-mouth the other parent or use the children to convey messages, those 8 children will always be able to see how their parents acted by searching YouTube or viewing the boxed set of Jon and Kate Plus 8 that will surely be available.
Tags: best interest of children, children, decisions, parenting
Posted in For the Kids' Sake, In The News | No Comments »
June 15th, 2009
While it may be challenging at times for separated parents to find child care, I believe when you come to court, it is in your children’s best interest not bring them with you.
- The family court can be a very busy place, space is limited and the wait can be long.
- Your children should not be exposed to the court proceedings or conversations with lawyers.
- If you and your ex-partner decide to try mediation, it is not appropriate for children to be in the same room.
- Although many family courts have a few toys available, court staff cannot be responsible for your children.
- You may find it difficult to focus and make good decisions.
The outcomes that may result from the family court process will have an impact on your family. However, this does not mean that the children should be a part of the court process.
Tags: best interest of children, family court, parenting
Posted in For the Kids' Sake, Mediation Matters, Proceeding Wisely, The Family Court | No Comments »
June 1st, 2009
If you chose to pay your child support directly to the recipient, especially when you pay in cash, it is a good idea to pick up a receipt book. These are easily obtained and can be found at the dollar store, anywhere that sells office supplies or you can make your own.
Information that you should include on the receipt:
- the date
- the amount of the payment
- what the payment is for (e.g. child support, daycare fees, medication, etc.)
- how the payment was made
Make sure that both the recipient and payor sign the receipt and that each receives a copy.
Do not rely on your children to carry child support payments and receipts to the other parent. Children should not be exposed to or involved in the exchange of money between parents.
By doing the above, many misunderstandings about payment can be avoided.
Tags: best interest of children, child support, child support guidelines, noncustodial parent
Posted in For the Kids' Sake, Proceeding Wisely | 2 Comments »
May 26th, 2009
Today at the On-Site Court Mediation office, I met with 3 ex-couples, all of whom had started a court process to deal with child support. The Child Support Guidelines were developed to ensure fairness and predictability and they do just that when the separated parents agree on the gross income of the payor and payments are received on time.
However, the Child Support Guidelines mean very little when separated parents do not agree on the gross income of the payor, arrears have accumulated or the number of work hours has decreased.
Get It In Writing – Verbal agreements cannot be enforced. If you and your ex-partner opt to make your own arrangements for child support payments, it is wise to get this process in writing and then signed, dated and witnessed. Should there be a need to have the payments enforced, this signed document can be filed with the court (along with the proper family court forms).
Include the following information in your agreement:
- full names of the recipient and payor
- full names and birth dates of the children
- when payment of child support will commence
- when child support will be paid (e.g. the first of the month, bi-weekly)
- how child support will be paid (cheque, direct deposit*, cash**)
* Make sure that the payor is provided with the recipient’s bank information.
** The recipient should provide the payor with a dated receipt that has been signed by both the recipient and the payor.
Tags: best interest of children, child support, family court, family court forms
Posted in For the Kids' Sake, Mediation Matters, Proceeding Wisely | No Comments »
May 22nd, 2009
The Child Support Guidelines were created in an effort to establish consistency and fairness with respect to the amount of child support to be paid. For example, in the Province of Ontario, an individual whose gross income is $36,500 with 2 dependent children would pay $545 each month.
The amount of child support reflects the average day-to day costs of caring for a child on a monthly basis.
The Child Support Guidelines were last revised in May 1, 2006.
For the Simplified Tables for your province or territory, click here.
Tags: best interest of children, child support, child support guidelines, parenting
Posted in For the Kids' Sake, Proceeding Wisely, The Family Court | No Comments »
May 17th, 2009
I find that incorporating a process for adjusting child support amounts into a written agreement can be very helpful to separating parents.
In my experience, it makes sense for separating parents to exchange their Notices of Assessment no later than June 1 of each year and then, if necessary, adjust the amount of child support beginning in July.
Using this type of process has several advantages:
- The amount of child support is based upon what the Canadian Government accepts as your income;
- There will be a greater sense of trust between the recipient and the payor when Notices of Assessment are used to calculate the amount of child support to be paid;
- When payment is adjusted (if necessary) in July as opposed to January, there will be no over or underpayment of child support;
- Writing this type of a process into an agreement will lessen the likelihood that the parties would have to return to court or mediation each year;
- The parties would be able to limit their interaction with each other and not have to discuss financial issues.
Tags: best interest of children, child support
Posted in For the Kids' Sake, Proceeding Wisely | No Comments »
April 30th, 2009
Throughout the year, Parent Information Sessions are held free of charge. These sessions provide people experiencing issues related to separation and divorce with an opportunity to ask questions and connect with other people in similar situations.
Sometimes a Family Court Justice will order the separating parents to attend a Parent Information Session. This usually happens when the court hears that the parents continually behave in a manner that is damaging to the children. Examples of behaviour that the court feels is inappropriate include having the children write letters to the judge, listening to telephone conversations between the children and the other parent and questioning the children about every detail of their time with the other parent.
When I conduct a Family Information Session, my goals are to provide separating parents with an understanding of the family court process, introduce and explain the available alternatives to going to court, including the pros and cons of each and, most importantly, discuss the impact of separation on the children.
I strongly believe that all separating parents should participate in a Family Information Session.
Contact the family court in your area for more information.
Tags: best interest of children, family, family court, family law information centre, information, mediation, parent information session, parenting, separation
Posted in For the Kids' Sake, Mediation Matters, Proceeding Wisely, Resources, The Family Court | No Comments »
